So everyone (should) remember that episode on Sex In The City when Carrie & the girls talked about their awkward “Secret Single Behavior” that takes place when they are alone. Charlotte liked to stare at her pores in a mirror for hours. Miranda would put vaseline on her hands & place them in insulated mittens as she watched infomercials. Carrie liked to stand in her kitchen & eat stacked crackers covered in jelly as she read Vogue magazines. And of course Samantha was Samantha regardless of who was watching. She had no #SSB to report. lol
Well! I’m sure us everyday folks can attest to enjoying the benefits of not having a significant other at times. Most importantly, one who lives with you and is just there. Like, all the time. lol
I cringe at the expectancy that eventually in this life I’ll have to completely share my personal space with someone. That terrifies me!
Why you ask? Because I have SEVERAL #SSB’s that I’m just not ready to retire. Or only explore when my man is out of town or sum’n. ?
So I’ll give you guys a brief look into my weirdness… but only if you promise to also divulge
the real reason why you are single your perfectly acceptable #SSB(s). lol
1. I sing. Loudly, proudly & like I have no d*mn sense. And this would be okay if I sounded good, but I don’t. It would probably still be okay if I only did this in the shower, but I don’t. I be all over my house like I’m the headliner of a sold out concert. DO NOT judge me! lol
2. I’ll rather throw away dishes/pots/pans before I fight against any type of baked on, stuck on grease. The reason this made the cut is because when I get married I’m going to have to fake my appreciation for Dawn dishwashing liquid being able to “cut through grease” & act like I care about preserving cookware. Sigh.
3. Add this to the sub category of number 1… sometimes I try on my clothes, I’m talking full outfits, then I’ll admire my mirror reflection (or declare I’m going to the gym asap!) & I dance to music. In the mirror. And all over the house for that matter. Yeah, seeing that in print was one of the revelation moments therapy patients usually get after a breakthrough session. lol I need Jesus!
4. That “talk back” thing I do to the tv. Yeah, it’s a bit extra. And that’s all I’m going to say. lol
I think I’ll stop there, because after all I do want to eventually be desired by someone who doesn’t get mental health evaluations.
Don’t leave me hanging tho guys… dish out your own #SSB’s and let’s see if we can figure out the real reason why we’re all single! ?