What Are The Rules For “Following Up” After A Date?


Don’t even act like you didn’t know that there were rules to this ish! lol

And following up after a date is completely dependent as to WHICH date you are on, so don’t pay too much attention to the “First Date” part in the photo above. Unless you guys are already in a relationship, the “Follow Up” matters. And if we’re being perfectly honest… even longterm couple-ship requires a particular follow up after a night on the town. Or Netflix date. Whichever is your cup of tea.

My own (recent) personal experience influenced this topic. No surprise there lol. So, exactly 7 days ago I went on a date with a new guy. For reference sake I’ll call him “The Photographer”. He was a nice guy and obviously something he said made me agree to go out with him.

He made all of the plans. (Look at God! Won’t He do it! lol) He asked when my free time was & judging from a discussion of our interests he chose a date, location & time. I was pleased, so I obliged.

Now we’re not going to mention how I was late. (Ya’ll know I have an issue with punctuality but I was REAL late ya’ll) No worries though, I communicated my issue with time to him and he was willing to wait for me. So I FINALLY get there, we commence to having a great date and even better convo. We actually were the last people to leave the restaurant. We talked more as we waited for my bus (NY ish).. & when it arrived we exchanged a hug & went our separate ways. 7 days ago.

TODAY I get a text from him saying “Hey”. Boy bye! lol I mean, at this point it’s like “Who is this?”. Then after a week all you have to say is “Hey”? Okay.

One thing you do not do… is wait a whole d*mn week to follow up with me after a date. Because if it was a bad date, then let’s pretend it didn’t happen & go on with our lives. If it was a decent to great date then I should have heard from yo a** AT MINIMUM twice since 7 days ago.

Once the same night… to make sure I made it home safely & express your brief thoughts about the date. (Ie. I had a great time tonight. Just checking to make sure you make it home okay.)

And the next day (I’ll even give you 2 days later) to schedule the next date. Did his father teach him nothing?!?

So… back in my younger days last year I probably would’ve engaged that wack a** “Hey”.. BUT this year. Today. I don’t have time for that. Like, not even 30 seconds.

So here is a mini list of the “Date Follow Up Rules” that obviously some people are unaware of:

First Date Follow Up

A call or text should be initiated (traditionally by the man) to make sure both parties made it home safely AND to express 1. Whether they enjoyed the date 2. If & when a second date should take place.

Note: In NY we use public transportation in excess. So usually we meet up at the date location. In other areas of the country people drive more. So this may or may not apply if your date picked you up from home. Hopefully they dropped you back at home. In one piece.

Sex On The First Date Follow Up

Same issue applies with expressing approval of the time you shared & the safe return home. This situation is tricky though. I personally feel that a woman SHOULD NEVER reach out to the guy first after this occurs. You should wait for him to reach out to you & you should refrain from leading the conversation in any way. Just follow his lead… you want to know what his true interest is after this.

For the men… if you enjoyed the evening & still like her, respect her, whatever… then you should reach out to her the next day. The winning thing would be to ask to see her again… somewhere that does not involve sex or being naked in any way.

Ladies, check your expectations at the door.

Now if you strategically placed her in the THOT category fellas then… well hell I don’t know what to tell you. When you speak to her again be honest about your intent to NOT take your relationship any further than sexual. (Although I’m praying you both had this conversation PRIOR to screwing each other)

Other than that, you both are on your own. lol

Second & Subsequent Date Follow Up

If you still can stomach them then call, text or email them and let them know you enjoyed the date & set up the next one. That was simple.

“We All Ready Go Together” Date Follow Up

She’s already your lady.. he’s your man. Pretty much all your follow up should be is saying how much fun you had and how lucky you are to have each other.

“The Date Was Horrible” Follow Up

Nothing. Pray for em’ and move on.

“It Was Revealed He/She Wasn’t Single” Date Follow Up

Umm… block them from your phone, email, social media sites and memory. That’s the only follow up that makes sense.

“I Was Assaulted On The Date” Follow Up

Let the officer who wrote the police report follow up with their aggressive a**. And next time do a background search on your date. Or at least a “Google” search. Crazy people usually have a public record of their craziness… somewhere.

And with that being said… happy dating folks! Start following up with your dates accordingly! Somebody send that message to Mr. Photographer. Cuz he gets NO reply from me. lol




Did this post hit home? Let me know!