I know I’m not the only one who has or is going through this!
Ya know, when the people you’ve been dating lately are so
5. Not even cute enough to be acting like this ect.
…. that you start to think: “Hmm, maybe my ex wasn’t THAT bad after all. I mean he was a liar… or she was an insecure basketcase but at least he/she was tolerable.” To a certain extent of course lol.
And the problem comes in when the very reason that your ex is YOUR EX becomes overshadowed by a few frustrating dating experiences.
I’m willing to bet that most reconciliation efforts between exes are the result of one or both people going on dates and realizing. .. “It is some bogus, foolish a** people in this world out here posing as good dating prospects!”. We’ve all been there at some point.
Here’s the layout of events. .. for whatever reason you decide that you’re done with your ex. You cease all communication in order to heal and move on. At some point you find the strength to date again & you haven’t taken any bitterness or pessimistic vibes into your new dating encounters. You’re actually kind of excited to be getting back out there!
UNTIL you actually get back out there & realize that not only is the dating pool shallow as hell, but clearly there hasn’t been a “chlorine treatment” in years. Yep… we’re out here dating in this contaminated a** pool and wondering why we aren’t having any luck… Because somebody fired the d*mn pool cleaning guy, obviously! ? ? Whoever that is.
So the point is… what do we do? Do we avoid the dating burn out & keep the hope alive. .. continuing to get back out there & meet new people? OR do we throw in the towel & retreat back to the ex who probably doesn’t deserve our return at all?
Honestly, that is a question we have to assess on a personal level. I’ve been there and to be honest I currently am still there.
It’s even more challenging if your ex still moves you on an emotional level. And we all know how emotions can cloud your judgement.
I’ve literally left a bad date and called or texted my ex on the way home… because I found solace in talking to him after a disappointing encounter. Or I’ve sat across the table from someone at dinner… unintentionally comparing him to my ex & thinking “I would prefer him here instead.”
Maybe that’s my individual issue with completely moving on… because if you’re still comparing new prospects to your ex you probably haven’t moved on yet. Not to mention that every time you contact your ex before moving on, you set back the clock on your healing. It’s counterintuitive.
So as a PSA to not only you guys, but to myself as well… don’t give up in dating. Because the second you throw in the towel & call up your ex boo could be the second before your “soul mate” would have introduced themselves and graced your life.
Don’t give up. Even if it feels safe to give your ex that 2nd or 40th chance. If they deserved it they wouldn’t be your ex.