When most single people think of taking a vacation what usually comes to mind is flying out with your girls or your bros to some dope location with your liver prepped and ready to endure several nights worth of drinking. But what happens when you could use a vacay and none of your squad can clear their schedule? OR… if you are just really in the mood for some alone time?
I mean it’s not like you have a boo to jet off into the sunset with. But does that mean that you shouldn’t go away on vacation if the circumstances mean that you’ll be there solo?
I recently took this challenge for the very first time in my life and in retrospect I’m convinced that it was one of the greatest experiences I’ve had to date.
As a graduation gift to myself (I just wrapped up my masters degree! ?) and a celebration of being single and surprisingly content, I took a 5 day 4 night trip to Cancun, Mexico solo. As in it was just me… no family or boyfriend to tag along and no homegirls in tow.
Not surprisingly, I had to explain and justify this reality to practically every one that I encountered. The guy who drove me to my resort from the airport and the other guy who drove me back to the airport on my way home. The front desk girl. The bellman. The bartenders at the lobby bar, the poolside bar and the swim up bar. The hostesses that seated me when I went to eat. The tour guide on one of my excursions. The cute Mexican native who was vacationing with his parents (He was a cutie and we exchanged Instagram info ;)). And even the guy at customs on my way home.
I’m not exaggerating ya’ll… apparently it’s shocking and uncommon for a young, attractive woman to travel and explore another country alone. At first the questions were interesting and harmless but at one moment I started to consider whether or not admitting that I didn’t come with “my husband or friends” made me a target. I brushed it off though with the reassurance that being alert and praying would ensure my safety. I made it back home and am now here typing this post so apparently that worked. lol
Another funny thing that I must mention though was the look of shock, confusion and suspicion that came over people’s face after I told them that I was indeed traveling without a companion. It was like they were trying to figure out what my deal was… I guess people don’t travel alone much these days. But THAT is the entire point of this post. ..
I think that EVERYONE, specifically single folks, should travel alone at least once in their lives! Why… you ask? For 3 main reasons:
1. To explore a new (or familiar) place on your own schedule
2. To take a true break from everything and everyone around you
3. To spend some quality time with the most important person in your life. .. YOU
To explore a new or familiar place on your own schedule
Have you ever went on vacation with your spouse or friends and felt like you had to do a lot of compromising to ensure that everyone on the trip had a great time?
You wanted to sleep in one morning and everyone else wanted to go hit the strip or go shopping. You were dying to go Parasailing but the group wanted to go Snorkeling instead. You wanted to spend your evening laying on the beach with a cocktail but your crew wanted to hit the local club scene.
Now it’s true that everything that’s listed above can be very fun but sometimes you’re just not feeling one or more of those activities. Sometimes you just want to do what you want to do and when you’re a part of a group that can become tricky.
When you travel alone though you can do whatever the hell you want because guess what… you’re in that bishhh 1 deep! lol
To take a true break from everything and everyone around you
We love our friends and relatives, we love our lives, most of our jobs don’t make us want to go on a coworker killing spree, and we’re even kinda digging the dude we met a few weeks ago at the grocery store. All of those things are pluses but none of it means that at some point we don’t all need a break… even from the things we love and that bring us joy.
When single folks (well anybody but we’re focusing on singles) go on vacation alone we get a chance to physically and mentally escape all the things that require effort in our lives. Being in Cancun with no set schedule other than the ones I created for myself was totally refreshing.
I was able to sleep in or wake up early, with no pressure to do either. I didn’t have to speak to anyone from my “everyday life” that I didn’t want to because I was inaccessible. I was on vacation.
There was no obligation to do any work, worry about traffic or the subway rush hour crowds… hell I didn’t even have to worry about or follow my diet. I was able to take a break from any and everything that wasn’t a margarita or wasn’t handing me a margarita.
Every single person, male or female, should ensure that they experience this. We work hard, we get degrees, we show up to jobs we hate (or even love) and we give 110%. We compromise, we rush to be on time, we cook and we clean. We answer calls that we’d rather ignore, we pay bills, and we buy necessities that sometimes we can’t even afford.
Who wouldn’t need a break from all of that? I know that I did and to be honest I can’t wait to take another one. It’s calling me man. *Pookie from New Jack City voice*
To spend some quality time with the most important person in your life. . . YOU
This one is the most important reason of all for singles to take a few vacations alone. There is no one on this earth who is more important to the quality of your emotional, spiritual, and mental health than you are.
That is exactly why I titled this post the way that I did. I truly believe that vacationing alone is good for the single soul because I feel that it gives you an uninterrupted opportunity to spend time with and get to know yourself.
As I woke up to ME, ate breakfast, lunch and dinner with ME, and went to sleep with just ME… uninterrupted, I was able to become completely in tune with myself.
As I laid on the beach listening to the waves, cocktail in hand I was able to really examine my soul. I took a look at my life… the changes that I had incorporated and the many changes that I would like to make moving forward. I was able to be at peace with my thoughts and personally… I was able to look at my relationship status and previous emotional attachments to both good and bad men and make some conclusions.
Spending time with myself helped to reinforce the idea that I am a great person with great energy and that I deserve reciprocity.
The idea is that if you can go to a place that is completely unfamiliar to your daily life and enjoy the experience with yourself then you’ve found yourself. You have solidified the idea that who you are is a person who is wonderful to be around.
People always talk about soul mates but after this solo trip I am convinced that we are our own most authentic versions of our soul mates.
So if ever given the opportunity you must take a vacation or two alone..,and if never given the opportunity you must create the opportunity. Why? It’s simple. ..
Because vacationing alone is good for the single soul. Use my experience as proof because it’s been 2 weeks since my solo vacay and my soul is still in bliss. Deep right?