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I wanted to take a moment and pick the minds of a few singles out there. Some male, some female. Some older, some younger. Some parents, some not.. and the list continues. What they all had in common was that they are currently single & they’ve had unique experiences who have shaped who they are. I didn’t go too deep on them… I just wanted to know a few things. They didn’t disappoint. Journey with me into their stories… 1st up is Gabby.
Gabrielle. 28. #ThirdWardTexas. (See Beyoncé.) ?
1. In a few sentences or less, please describe what you look for in a mate. Start at initial attraction & go from there.
“I’ve always been attracted to smiles. Beautiful smiles get me everytime. Chocolate skin. And then personality. It sounds pretty simple, but I’m sure it’s not. Once you throw personality in there….everyone pretty much loses. Lol.”
2. What are your current dating goals? What are you looking for?
“I honestly don’t think I have any dating goals. This isn’t to be confused with me not actually wanting to date, but I find most of the men who claim themselves attracted to me…full of shit. I’m still giving my number out to dudes who insist on “hanging out at the crib” as our first “date.” They say you are what you attract, but that’s a damn lie. Anyway. What I’m looking for is pretty simple: a friend. I sincerely want a friend first. If for whatever reason we stay friends, that’s cool. And if we grow into more, that’s great. What I’m finding out about friends…regardless of sex…is that, the only expectations are that you will try your best to accept this person for who they are…at any given point in y’all’s lives. As of today, I’ll be starting grad school in a few days and I’ll be working full time. I’ll be busy, moody and possibly crankier than normal (which probably means a lot of people will say I shouldn’t look for anything/anyone then), but if we couldn’t get through this with just being interested in each other and trying to work around that…how on earth would we be able to build anything else? Overcome any other obstacles? So, right now? Just “looking” for friends. Or, a friend. Whatever. Lol.”
3. Why do you think you are currently single?
“I’m currently single because (and I just realized this yesterday lol) I will not take people’s shit. While I’ve spent a great deal of “adulthood” thinking I had low self esteem, it turns out that it’s not a weakness or an issue I let other people, especially men capitalize on. There are many more women who are prettier, smarter, and have an awesome ass to waist ratio, but that doesn’t mean you get to treat me like shit. Especially not right off the bat. I’ve also learned that I can be a bit demanding, but that’s because I give people my best, and that includes myself. If you want a seat at the table, I’ll expect you to bring more than just good dick. I have a job, no, the beginnings of a career, I’m not out here expecting you to pay my bills…right off the bat, but you won’t sit at this table for free sir. And a lot of dudes out here wanna sit at the table for free.99. And a lot of em think I should let em, being a thick girl (and not like yourself or all the other bad bitches I know…lol) and all. Apparently, the more weight you carry around that’s “unacceptable” to society, the more unacceptable BS you’re supposed to deal with in order to have and/or keep a man. That’s what high school and college were for. To learn hard lessons about what you will and won’t put up with from anyone, but men especially. I don’t take too much shit off people, but especially men I don’t know. Sooooo…yeah. Guess that’s why I’m still single. Lol.”
Thank you Gabby.