First off, I’d like to give LQ a quick shout out for allowing me to share some of my experiences on her blog.
I felt like my first post, should be about something I know very well about. Dating and Social Media.
As we all know “Cuffing Season” is upon us.
Going back like 10-15 years I can honestly say I am very experienced in engaging women through online platforms. For me it started back in the days of AOL chatrooms and the music sharing program Napster (really showing my age now). If you don’t know about those Napster chat rooms, you betta ask somebody!
As a horny teenager I used to find myself cyber sexing with girls from all across the globe (this is a judgment free zone right??!!)
From AOL and Napster I moved on to sites such as Blackplanet, Myspace, Facebook, Plenty of Fish, OK Cupid, Black People Meet, Tinder, Craigslist (not an escort), Rap forums and black hair care forums.
If I was to throw out a random number, I’d say I met around 50 women from all these platforms combined. All of these women were not random hookups (I am a man of morals!) although there were a few. Some of these women have become friends, lovers, business associates etc.
At this point in my life it is probably much easier for me to “approach” a woman through an online platform, because there is no fear of rejection. At most, all she can do is not respond to your message.
So do I have any suggestions for men who are trying to have success in the online dating world?
Well it all starts with your pictures. Taking your physical appearance out the way, you have to have the right pictures. Women love seeing us dressed up in suits. I love going to weddings because it gives me an excuse to take dozens of pictures with no remorse.
Be sure to snap a quick flick of yourself as you are headed to church, business meetings, interviews etc.
Keep the shirtless mirror pics to a minimum. I come across so many profiles of women who make reference to how much they dislike those meathead type pictures.
Pictures of you popping bottles or showing off wads of cash will only attract a certain caliber of woman. A woman of substance for the most part is not going to check for that.
Next, you have to come off as NORMAL as possible. One of the first things women say to me when I message them is “you seem normal”.
With all the crazy stories of murders, abductions and other heinous crimes, you can’t blame a woman for wanting to make sure that she is not conversing with a psychopath.
Thirdly, your online presence has to show some intellect. YOUR LOOKS WILL ONLY GET YOU SO FAR. I’m an “ok” looking brotha depending on who you ask and a working class citizen. I am not a member of the “money team”. I’ve come to accept the fact that my biggest selling point with women may never be how much zeros I have in my bank account. But with all that said, I figured out early, that what you say and how you say it, can get you just as far as how you look or what your drive.
Talk about your hobbies, career goals and what you are looking for in the opposite sex. DO NOT write about how you want a woman with an ass like Tahiry from Love & Hip Hop who can do handstands on the dick (even if that is what you want). There is such a thing called “tact” that you need maintain. You want to put your best foot forward and not come off like them thirsty dudes on the corner who try and holla at her on a daily basis.
I have plenty of female friends and they always share stories of the types of messages they get from men on these social platforms. Dudes are out here requesting women to sit on their faces, without even exchanging names first. #WhereDeyDoDatAt
Fellas you also have to learn how to engage a woman through direct messages. Master the art of conversation (a lot of you ladies need help in that area too). Ask her open-ended questions. Don’t come with the basic “what is your favorite color?”
If you can make her laugh through private messages, she will be much more inclined to give you her number, which can then lead to a meet up.
I’m going to end my first post right here, I hope by now most of you men know what to do once you get the digits.
Till Next Time…
Jason. 29. New York, NY