Dear Single Women: If You’re Dating Only One Man You’re Doing It Wrong 3


Ladies, let’s talk for a minute. More specifically, SINGLE ladies.

Let’s say, for the sake of example, that you’re dating this very attractive & promising guy. So far he is everything you look for in a man.. so you focus your attention on him. He’s who you’re most excited about so naturally you start to entertain other guys less and less.

Because of this you start to notice (or maybe you don’t notice) that your expectations have peaked & now you’ve become overly obsessed with the development of things.

And then we all know what happens next right? Because your time, attention and focus isn’t properly delegated. .. you put too much stock in one opportunity. Then you panic.

You’re unable to enjoy the moments & appreciate the friendship/relationship as it develops organically. You probably end up becoming insecure about the status of things & the man can sense that. Not to mention, you even start to let your friends’ “advice” & skepticism get to you. Whether you know it or not he feels the expectations being placed on him… even if you haven’t said a word about “Where is this going?”.

So, in common dating fashion he withdraws. Why you ask?

Because the once happy, carefree woman he met has now become a calculating ball full of confusion and verbal opposition.

Men hate the change up! To them this is a HUGE warning sign that he should NOT pursue anything serious with you. It makes him feel that not only are you not in control of your emotions, but he hasn’t even had to earn you to receive such loyalty!

And as a result, what was once a promising thing with that attractive guy is OVER. You’re now living your self fulfilling prophecy that “maybe you were wrong about the guy”.

Well single ladies, I think this can easily be avoided. The best way to ensure that this never happens to you is simple. DO NOT subject yourself to dating only one man at a time!

Now I know that some of you may be giving me the side eye on this, but hear me out. I have lived this. .. been there done that & got a t-shirt.

If you never listen to anything I’ve ever said listen to this… I have had my heart crushed before because I’ve placed too much stock in one man. I vowed to never do that to myself again because there’s nothing worse than being more excited about a man than he is about you.

And unfortunately, this shift in interest can happen very fast! One day he’s chasing you & the next day you’re trying to figure out why he’s running away.

Here is my suggestion: The only time a woman should date one man at a time is when exclusivity has been made perfectly clear. Until then, you’re free to accept any date that fits into your schedule book. If he wants you to himself he knows what to do.

Point. Blank. Period.

Now I never said sleep with these men. Although you’re entitled to that choice as well!

BUT, I think it’s very important for a woman to explore dating without sex being involved. UNLESS it’s the most beneficial circumstance FOR HER.

If in a 7 day week you have 4+ dates with 4+ eligible bachelors, then oblige them! If it doesn’t interrupt your schedule or “me time” accept the date.

Trust me, it’s healthy for the soul lol.

Because look at it this way… if you’re casually dating Mark, Brian, Trevor, Mateo & Chris, then realizing that Brian is a complete a**hole won’t bother you much.

Finding out that Chris had a girlfriend he failed to mention won’t really disrupt your life either.

Why? Because there is always Trevor, Mark & Mateo to date & enjoy.  F**k Brian and Chris.

And that’s the entire point ladies. If you put all your eggs in one basket then you’re setting yourself up for failure!

So do these men a favor and date without limits (within reason ladies lol). Because guess what, when the right man comes along he’ll be grateful that you did.

Lucky for him he’ll score a woman who knows what she wants because she’s experienced what she doesn’t. She’ll also be able to appreciate him more because of this.

And most importantly, he’ll know he’s with a woman who CHOSE HIM. And even though she had options, she felt that he was worthy of her time, attention & dedication.

And men absolutely love that sh*t. Ya know, the sh*t they feel like they’ve earned. ?

Did this post hit home? Let me know!

3 thoughts on “Dear Single Women: If You’re Dating Only One Man You’re Doing It Wrong

  • Tracy

    I wish I read this post months ago. I found a wonderful guy who lived away and decided to dedicate all my dating effort to him long distance, even though he made it clear he wasn’t ready to commit. Then when he let me know he was in fact dating another person and was ready to be intimate with that person my world was crushed. He was doing what I should have been doing, dating around. Lesson learned.

    • TheSingleOneInTheGroup

      Hey Tracy,

      I am so sorry that happened to you but trust me… we’ve all been there before in some form or fashion. It has always been difficult for me to date more than one man because I have a habit of “putting all of my eggs in one basket” but I’ve learned that we owe it to ourselves to date around and to protect ourselves by not investing more than what has been invested into us. Dating multiple people helps with this! I am so glad that you didn’t allow that experience to defeat you, instead you looked at it as a lesson learned. The beauty of that is that you’ll know exactly what to do moving forward to protect your heart! Happy dating to you! 😉