Those who truly know me understand how much I love the movie Love Jones. Actually, some of the people I click with the most share a passion for this movie. What can I say… it’s #Dope. And ironically, still very relevant today. .. 17 years after it’s initial release.
There’s a factor within the movie that really annoys me though. I don’t know if it’s the “with age comes wisdom” thing or just a reaction to dealing with it in countless of my personal experiences. Either way, I feel that it describes the exact reason why dating in this day and age is both exhausting and haunting.
Lawd the games! Men play them. Women play them. Teens play them. 20 somethings, 30 somethings, 40 somethings… and the list goes on. There is not one single demographic of folks who can say they have never encountered or don’t include masters of the games that come with dating. It’s an inevitable occurrence. And on that note let’s continue with Love Jones… (Spoiler Alert)
In walks Nina & Darius. These two consenting adults meet, become led by an incredible energy of attraction and chemistry and even make it pass the awkward morning after thing that happens in situations like this. Now even though there was a little bit of
stalking extra initiative involved for him to get her to go out with him (actually that was stalkerish, sorry lol) they both had concluded that they liked one another and were open to hanging out more.
In comes the games. Ya know, the embellishment of their “lack of interest”… knowing they were REALLY feeling each other. I mean the brotha cooked cheese omelet’s and she swears his.. ahem.. package was singing whispers of her name to her. Then they both confirm to their friends that this ain’t no love thang… they are “just kickin it.” Yeah okay.
As if that wasn’t an already incorrect way to start this “love thang” that they tried to deny, the plot thickens and the real games ensue.
Homegirl’s ex-fiance pops up trying to reconcile…
Side Note: Isn’t it just THE WORSE when exes do that ish!? 1st off they come back on that narcissist tip like they are just SO SURE they got it like that. THEN they only show up when you’re feeling the next person. Ugh! Death to them. lol I digress..
So the ex pops up and all of a sudden she’s at lunch with her friend (who’s just as clueless about this love thing) asking for advice on what to do. The dilemma is this: She’s trying to figure out if she still loves the ex or not. To do this she’s going back to NY to stay with him for a while and she wants to know should she tell Darius. —->SIGH!
The friend shakes her head no and then she changes her mind and says this statement of wackness: “Tell him. If he snaps, then you got him. And there’s no need to go. Is there? But if he tries to act all cool and sh*t well then hey… you’re just gonna have to go. Teach his a** a lesson! Hello, do your thing girl. Do it!” —–> SIGH!
And we all know how that goes. She tells him. His ego ignites his own set of games and he does “act all cool and sh*t”. KNOWING he didn’t want that woman to go and he was NOT cool with that at all. They couldn’t even be real with their best friends about what they were truly feeling. #WEAK
Instead of both of them dead’n the games and being completely transparent about their feelings & what was happening they played this ridiculous game. This turned into a whirlwind of drama & misconception. Not to mention some innocent people were dragged into their childish, rebound “love thang” which proved to be totally unnecessary. A year later they reconcile but stop the slow music and applause because let’s not even celebrate that ish!
Let’s be honest about what happened… they spent an entire year+ playing games and wasting each others time. Maybe she had the right to want to be sure she was over her ex… I’ll give her that because they were engaged. BUT she should’ve been more honest in her approach when she brought it up to Darius. On the other hand, he should have been vocal about his opposition to her going and let her know that he really liked her.
Typing all of this has made me frustrated with these two all over again. Mainly because this is the kind of nonsense that happens every single day in millions of “relationships” and “situationships”.
People are too afraid, egotistical, fraudulent and childish to be real about their feelings and expectations. And for that very reason.. more than half of us shouldn’t be trying to find anybody until we find ourselves.
You’re contaminating the dating pool with that foolishness. Stop it.