My main goal is to make sure that this blog stays upbeat by keeping the “sad topics” at bay. No one wants to read a post that just drains the happiness out of you. But let’s be honest for a second. ..
This blog could never be true to it’s intent if we didn’t include the “low points” of dating.
And with that being said I’d like to be transparent about what I’m feeling right now. Not only as a therapeutic release for myself, but also because I am convinced that someone. . somewhere is going through the very same thing.
I’ve been on a journey of healing since I decided that I was officially DONE with the man that captivated my heart and has had it in his grasp for the last 10 months of my life. I was convinced that not only had I progressed in moving on from him, but I had gained enough strength and optimism to date again.
Tonight I was casually talking with a friend, laughing about life and just being present in the moment. Then his name came up. It was one of those times when you know you shouldn’t entertain the topic but you can’t help but to do so anyway.
All of a sudden I was flooded with nostalgia, uncertainty, regret, desire & heartbreak.
All of a sudden, all of the progress I thought I had made in “moving on” felt like no progress at all.
In that moment. .. & the moments leading to my restlessness, I realized that I’ll probably always have a special place in my heart for that man. And that’s okay. I have been psychologically beating myself up for still caring about him when in reality I can’t control that. He meant a lot to me & how I may feel now will never erase how I once felt.
All I can control is whether I allow those feelings to lead me back into a situation that is toxic for me… or whether I acknowledge those feelings & move on in spite of.
I choose to move on. Even if it is the toughest battle of my life. I choose victory.
So for anyone out there, male or female, who may be going through something similar. .. my prayers are with you. And eventually you’ll wake up and it won’t hurt anymore. The sound of their name will be muffled by the harmony of emotional freedom & no longer will a conversation that is about them shake your world up. Eventually you’ll be over it.
That is the reality that I pray for daily.